


Nary A Cake In Sight

by mansikka



Series: Filling In The Gaps [32]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-10-29 21:25:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17815787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Filler-y stuff for 2x19





	Nary A Cake In Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) okay so because some lovely people came to comment on this after all these months I wanted to at least get season 2 complete on here. This is short, and only from Magnus' perspective. Why _Nary A Cake In Sight?_ Duh. Any mention of cake is a good mention. But also this is one of Catarina's lines and I love it very much :)

He will not look at him. He will not look up. He will not acknowledge that he recognizes Alec's footfall, picking it out from those he is approaching with. Magnus stands behind the Seelie Queen feeling like a puppet, a muted one. Though perhaps for now, it's best he doesn't speak. Magnus tunes out everything; not through choice, because all he wants to do is reach for Alec. And he can't.

Is it days that have passed since he since saw Alec? Just hours that he's lost? Magnus can't know, can't put any kind of order to the thoughts in his head. He's fighting so hard not to think about Alec and focus on this decision he has to make for his people, that all he does is think of Alec instead.

That isn't true. Magnus knows it isn't, has functioned quite remarkably since he stormed out of this very Institute leaving a part of himself behind. He's called meetings, got assurances from the Seelie Queen that he's twisted into a sort of trust to protect his people. He's avoided difficult conversations wherever possible with Raphael, and Luke, and Catarina, constantly calling their discussions back to the subject at hand whenever they try to _talk_. Which of course is Valentine, and his _mission_ , his intent to end all of their lives. There is no reason for him — or anyone — to be thinking of anything but that.

Except that _Alec's_ here, his heart whispers, Alec's here, in the same room, with just a table between them. It might as well be an ocean for how furious he looks, how determined Alec is to say whatever it is he's going to say. Magnus fights to tune out Alec's words, only concentrating on the tone of his voice, which he already misses so much. How is he supposed to give up _this_?

"The Institute called an emergency meeting of the Downworld Council," the Queen says, calling Magnus back from letting his thoughts get the better of him. "I speak on behalf of the Downworld."

When they make eye contact, Magnus won't let himself breathe. Not for the way it winds him. He scowls back just as hard as Alec is doing when in his head all he's thinking is, _it's me, see me, look at me_.

"Magnus, is this true?" Alec asks, that low and dangerous tone Magnus normally associates with Alec turning on somebody else. Magnus looks away. The Queen _instructed_ him not to speak anyway, and for now he's happy to use it as an excuse.

"Henceforth, when you need anything from the Downworld, you shall address me, Mr. Lightwood. Such is the nature of our new agreement."

Alec is incensed, but either the Queen can't see it, or no one else in this room knows Alec's expressions quite like he does. Magnus sees the slightest adjustment to his shoulders and the way his head tilts back a fraction, and all he wants to do is wrap him up in a hug.

"Your Highness, Valentine believes that the Institute has the Mortal Mirror, and he's not going to leave this city without it. I would like the Downworld's help in locating him."

"In order to capture him, so that he might escape once again?" the Seelie Queen says, dry and full of disdain.

"In order to execute him, so this threat may finally end."

The Clave willingly executing Valentine? Magnus won't believe it. He can't.

"Why should we believe you?"

It's a good question. Magnus would say without hesitation that they can't trust the Clave at all. Not even Alec. Especially Alec right now. Though where his anger at the Clave begins and where it ends with Alec has become a little convoluted. Magnus pleads for this meeting to be over soon. Too much longer in Alec's presence and he'll break anyway. Magnus can't stop himself looking at Alec, waiting for his answer.

"I understand why you might doubt my hesitations, after what happened with the Soul Sword," Alec says. Magnus knows in an instant he's actually talking to _him_. He proves that by looking at Magnus, like he's trying to say something private to him without any words. Magnus keeps trying to look away. "And for that, I am sorry. But I founded this council to make things more transparent between the Downworld and the Clave."

"And how has that been going?"

"It's been a bit of a work in progress," Alec replies. And if that isn't an understatement. How many nights the two of them have sat up trying to hammer out the details of what they can focus on in their Downworlder Cabinet meetings, all while navigating the difficult path of keeping their personal and private lives apart. Magnus rolls his eyes and looks away, but all he can picture is Alec sat up in their bed making note after note trying to plan something _good_ to come of this Cabinet.

It is _their_ bed. Even if it's much too soon to think like that. And with their current _disagreement_ , far too much to assume.

The Queen sighs and gets up, reluctant as she prepares to leave. It's all theatrics, because Magnus already knows what she's going to say.

"For far too long, the Downworld has depended on the Clave and your Institute to protect us from men like Valentine. It's time we learned our lesson and started fighting for ourselves."

"We can't do this alone," Alec says, looking at Magnus. "Valentine is a threat to all of us."

"The answer, Shadowhunters… is no."

The Queen looks at him, _only_ him. It's pointed, so everybody in the room will know he is her _pet_. Magnus regrets his decision. He regretted it the moment the words had come out of his mouth. But how can he turn back from that path now? The future has already been set.

"Come along," she says, and Magnus is relieved for the chance to leave. He feels Alec's glare on him as he passes, holding steady, begging himself to keep it together for a little longer.

* * *

The Seelie Queen is gloating; Magnus didn't think it was possible for her to do so more than she already did. He listens to her talk on the way back to the Court nodding in all the right places, already going over all the ways he can think of to take his allegiance back. But he can't, not with Valentine so close to raising Razael and requesting the end of the Downworld. He can't prioritize his mistrust of the Queen and regretting his choices over the safety of the warlocks under his care. Though he does feel like there aren't enough hot baths he could take to rid him of this sickly feeling beneath his skin.

Of course when Magnus gets home the first thing his eyes land on are photos of he and Alec together. They would have to be from that photo booth from their first date. And just like that, the wall he's forced thoughts of Alec behind threatens to topple. There is too much to do. He can't do this now.

"Magnus."

Magnus has never been so relieved to have a distraction in his life. He grabs on to Madzie and anchors himself to her, relaxing just for having her and Catarina in the room. Catarina has been kind enough to not force her opinions on his choice to walk away from Alec into their phone calls so far, not too much, anyway. But the time will come. Though they have a bigger fight on their hands right now, one none of them might make it through.

Magnus knows the warlocks aren't happy with his decision. Magnus can already guess every question they have about trust. He puts on his most upbeat, confident smile and claps his hand decisively calling for everyone's attention. He's given Alec up to protect these people staring back at him looking for guidance, and guidance he will give. Even if he's not entirely sure what he's guiding them into.

* * *


End file.
